Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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