She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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