somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
