Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
