Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
