Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
