I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
