were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
