I just made out with a guy for $7.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
