A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people are normalizing furries
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize