That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
