took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
