i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
