Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize