YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
