you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
