i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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