butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
