I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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