Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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