Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
