T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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