Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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