Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Two words: blizzard sex
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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