Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I touched a dick in church today
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
