her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
