3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
how drunk are you?
Several
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