Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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