My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
