Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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