i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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