I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
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just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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