The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize