Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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