she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize