What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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