these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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