and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
