you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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