the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
