haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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