I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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