ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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