Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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