Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
