I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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