I wannas sexs uuuuu
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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