then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
