He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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