hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
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My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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