your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
