Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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