do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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