She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
