I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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