Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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