he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
