Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
