Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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