Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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