I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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