The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize