i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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