He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
